This chapter explores how to create and recognize meaningful signs, protecting both the integrity of your communications and the people who rely on them.
Securing Communications
If You Cannot Speak Freely, You Need Another Way to Communicate.
They will try to take away your voice. They will monitor your messages. They will force you into silence. They will make it dangerous to say the truth out loud. This is a strategy, by design, and you need a counter-strategy. A safe word. A signal. A way to send a message when speaking openly is not an option.
Why You Need Covert Communication
You will not always be able to say, I am in danger. You will not always be able to write, I need help. If your messages are being watched, if your conversations are being overheard, if asking directly would put you in more danger, you need another way.
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A safe word can be used in person, over text, or in a phone call. A simple, seemingly harmless phrase that means, I need help now.
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A silent signal can be used when speaking is not an option. A hand gesture, an object placed in a specific way, a subtle cue that says, Pay attention—something is wrong.
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A coded message allows you to warn someone without alerting an observer. A casual sentence, a strange but prearranged phrase, a sudden change in tone. Something only your people will recognize.
If you have never had this conversation with your inner circle, do it now.
How to Create an Effective Safe Word or Signal
If you have to ask for help in a way that does not look like asking for help—will your people know what to do? Your system must be:
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Unmistakable - It should be something that does not come up in normal conversation. Something that, if you say it, there is no doubt about what it means.
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Easy to remember - In a crisis, you will not have time to think. It must come automatically.
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Adaptable - It should work in different situations—whether you’re texting, on the phone, or in person.
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Undetectable to outsiders - It must seem ordinary to anyone who does not know its meaning.
Examples of Safe Words and Signals
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Verbal Safe Words: A phrase that sounds harmless but is actually a distress signal.
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“Tell Aunt Beth I’ll be late.” (When you don’t have an Aunt Beth.)
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“Did you feed the cat?” (When you don’t own a cat.)
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Silent Signals: A small but deliberate action that means I need help.
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Wearing a certain piece of jewelry in a way that is unusual.
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Arranging objects in a specific order on a table.
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A repeated hand gesture that only your people understand.
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Written or Digital Codes: A way to signal distress in writing without saying it outright.
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Asking an unrelated question that has been prearranged as a red flag.
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Misspelling certain words on purpose.
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Using an agreed-upon emoji in an unrelated context.
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If you don’t set up a system now, you will not have one when you need it.
First Task: Establish Your Safe Word or Signal
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Choose a phrase, signal, or coded message. Make sure it is specific and easy to remember.
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Teach it to your trusted people. Don’t assume they will know what to do, practice.
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Decide what response it triggers. If someone uses the signal, what happens next? Who calls? Who comes? What is the plan?
"A wise man hears one word and understands two."
— Yiddish Proverb
Historical Reflection
The Underground Railroad Quilts
For those escaping slavery in the 19th century, danger was everywhere. Slave patrols, bounty hunters, and laws like the Fugitive Slave Act ensured that a single misstep could mean recapture, torture, or death. The enslaved had no maps, no legal protection, and no way to openly communicate their plans. But some had a language of survival hidden in plain sight. They had quilts.
In safe houses and abolitionist homes, quilts hung over railings, fences, and porches—not for decoration, but as a guide. Each pattern carried a meaning, a message only those “in the know” could understand. The Log Cabin pattern, a square with a black center, signaled a safe house. The Flying Geese pattern, arranged like arrows, pointed the way north. The Bow Tie pattern instructed fugitives to change clothes to blend in. The Drunkard’s Path warned them to travel in a zigzag pattern to avoid detection. A quilt draped over a fence might appear to be nothing more than a household item. To those escaping, it was a roadmap to freedom.
Women played a key role in this silent system. They sewed the quilts, embedding signals in fabric. They taught others how to read the patterns, passing down knowledge in whispers. They hung the quilts outside their homes, risking their safety to direct fugitives. Most of these women never saw the people they helped. They never heard their names or knew if they reached freedom. But they knew their signs could mean the difference between life and death.
The Underground Railroad was built on secrecy, and these coded quilts were part of a network that functioned right under the noses of those who would have destroyed it. The power of these symbols lay in their simplicity—ordinary objects hiding extraordinary messages. A well-placed sign can be a lifeline in dangerous times. When you cannot speak, symbols can save you. The best messages are the ones only the right people can read. In a world where silence could mean survival, a quilt on a clothesline was more than just fabric—it was hope stitched into every thread.