This chapter explores how building defensive skills—from situational awareness to conflict de-escalation—ensures that you are never an easy target.
Learn
Self Defense
No One is Coming to Save You.
They will tell you that self-defense is unnecessary. That bad things only happen to people who make bad choices. That you should just stay out of trouble, keep your head down, and hope for the best. This is a death sentence.
You can do everything right and still find yourself in danger. You can follow every rule, be polite, be careful, be invisible—and still be a target. The truth is, you will be tested. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, someone will try to see what they can get away with. When that moment comes, the only thing that matters is whether or not you’re ready. So be ready.
Why You Need to Learn Self-Defense
Because you’re your own first responder. Because size and strength are not always in your favor, but skill and strategy can be. Because when someone tries to harm you, your survival should not depend on luck. Self-defense is not about being fearless, it is about being prepared. It is about knowing that if a situation goes bad, you have options, you have answers, and you have an effective way out.
The Basics: What Every Woman Should Know
You don’t need to be a martial arts master. But you do need to know how to:
-
Create space - The more space between you and an attacker, the harder it is for them to control you.
-
Break free - If someone grabs your wrist, your arm, your hair—know how to get out. Learn leverage. Learn weak points.
-
Strike with intent - You are not fighting to look tough. You are fighting to end the threat and get away. Aim for soft targets: eyes, throat, groin, knees.
-
Use your voice - Yell. Scream. Do whatever it takes to attract attention or startle your attacker. Noise is your friend.
-
Fight dirty - There is no such thing as a fair fight when your life is on the line. Bite. Scratch. Gouge. Do what it takes.
-
Know when to run - The best fight is the one you never have to finish. If you can escape, do it.
Training is the Difference Between Panic and Action
You cannot rely on instinct alone. In a crisis, your brain will default to what it knows. If it knows nothing, it will freeze. The only way to ensure you react correctly is to train. Even just a little.
-
Take a self-defense class - Many are free or low-cost. Learn the basics and practice them.
-
Drill your escape moves - Grab a friend, a partner, a trusted ally. Practice breaking free from common holds.
-
Visualize scenarios - If someone grabs you from behind, what will you do? If you’re pinned, what is your plan? Mental preparation matters.
-
Strengthen your body - You don’t need to be a bodybuilder, but strength matters. Grip strength, endurance, and speed can make a difference.
First Task: Learn One Self-Defense Move Today
This is not theoretical. This is practical.
-
Look up a basic escape technique. Wrist grab, hair grab, choke defense—pick one.
-
Practice it. Not just once. Repeat it until it becomes muscle memory.
-
Make a plan. If someone attacks you, what is your first move? Know it now.
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you in better living conditions."
— Hafez
Historical Reflection
The Women of the
Red Cross
The Red Cross is known for its neutrality, its commitment to medical care, and its humanitarian mission. But in war zones and disaster-stricken areas, where laws break down and desperation takes hold, neutrality is not always protection. Red Cross women have faced threats from soldiers, looters, and opportunists. Time and again, they have proven that self-defense is not just about saving yourself—it’s about saving others. They were healers, but when necessary, they fought back.
The idea of the battlefield nurse as a passive, helpless figure is a myth. In reality, Red Cross women were often stationed in active war zones with little to no security beyond their wits and training. They were attacked by looters, assaulted by rogue soldiers, and targeted by those who saw them as easy prey. Despite their role as noncombatants, they quickly learned to defend themselves—and the wounded in their care.
With no guns, they turned medical tools into weapons. Scalpels, syringes, and bandage shears became makeshift defenses. Some trained in unarmed combat, learning how to disarm attackers and escape from holds. Others carried concealed blades for emergencies. They did not see violence as their mission, but they refused to be victims.
For many, the real battle was not just for their own safety but for the people under their protection. In World War I, nurses fought off looters attempting to steal critical medical supplies from field hospitals. During the Spanish Civil War, Red Cross women stood between soldiers and refugees, refusing to let the vulnerable be dragged away. In war-torn Africa and the Middle East, humanitarian workers have used self-defense tactics to escape kidnappings and ensure the safe transport of wounded civilians. They were not soldiers, but they knew how to fight when it mattered.
Even those dedicated to peace must sometimes defend themselves and others. They prove that self-defense is not aggression—it is survival. The women of the Red Cross refused to be at the mercy of anyone—not the enemy, not the lawlessness of war, not even the expectation that they should endure danger in silence. When the world turned violent around them, they did not surrender. They met force with strategy, fear with courage, and chaos with unwavering control.