This chapter explores why expecting fairness from systems designed to be unfair is a losing strategy, and how recognizing this reality allows you to engage with them on your own terms instead of theirs.
Ruling Those Who Don't Play by The Rules
If You Think They Will Play Fair, You Have Already Lost.
They don’t follow rules. They don’t care about fairness, integrity, or reason. They will lie, cheat, manipulate, and destroy—whatever it takes to win. They will move goalposts, rewrite history, and gaslight the world into believing that they have always been right. If you expect them to play honorably, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If the game is rigged, you don’t win by playing fair. You win by understanding how rule-breakers operate, and beating them at their own game.
Why You Must Learn to Handle the Unruly
The most dangerous opponents are not the ones who fight openly. They are the ones who:
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Don’t respect agreements - They will shake your hand today and stab you tomorrow.
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Use deception as a default - If their lips are moving, they are manipulating.
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Thrive on chaos. They will create disorder just to watch you struggle.
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Redefine losing as winning - If they cannot beat you, they will twist the story until they appear victorious anyway.
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Make you question reality - They will rewrite history, deny what they said yesterday, and insist you’re the one who is confused.
You cannot control them. But you can control how you engage with them.
How to Counter Those Who Don’t Play by the Rules
Those who don’t play by the rules will lie without hesitation if it serves their interests. They will contradict themselves, rewrite history, and shift their positions to whatever benefits them in the moment. The mistake most people make is assuming these individuals can be cornered by logic or evidence, but the truth is, they don’t care about consistency. Rather than wasting energy trying to prove they are dishonest, accept that they are, and act accordingly. Engaging with them as if they will eventually tell the truth only gives them more opportunities to manipulate the conversation.
They thrive in environments where they can dictate the terms of engagement, and if you let them set the battlefield, you have already lost. They will move the target, change the rules mid-game, and create confusion to maintain control. The key is to refuse to fight on their terms. Whether it’s in public discourse, workplace politics, or personal conflicts, maintaining control over where, when, and how engagement happens forces them into unfamiliar territory. They don’t expect resistance to be methodical; they expect it to be reactive. Staying ahead means ensuring that they are the ones chasing the conversation, not leading it.
Chaos is one of their most effective weapons. They will provoke emotional reactions, bait their opponents into impulsive decisions, and overwhelm with distractions. The moment you allow them to dictate the pace, you become easier to manipulate. Recognizing when they are intentionally creating disorder is crucial because it allows you to step back, slow things down, and regain control. They want you flailing, constantly reacting, and unable to see the bigger picture. The only way to counter that is through discipline—choosing when to engage, when to ignore, and when to strike.
Even those who thrive in deception and manipulation have weaknesses. Their greatest flaw is often their own overconfidence; they assume they are always the smartest person in the room, that they can talk their way out of any situation, and that they are untouchable. That assumption leads to mistakes, and mistakes lead to vulnerabilities. Their power often relies on the blind loyalty of others, and if doubt seeps into their inner circle, their control begins to crack. Exposure can also be devastating to them, but it must be handled carefully—too much at once and they will twist it into a persecution narrative. Most of all, they cannot handle losing control. When backed into a corner, they lash out unpredictably, making them dangerous. That is why any strategy against them must be executed with patience, precision, and an understanding of when to step back before they self-destruct.
Be Clear. You Are Not Special!
If someone is willing to manipulate, lie, and deceive others, don’t assume they will make an exception for you. A liar does not lie selectively. A backstabber does not betray only certain people. A manipulator does not suddenly become honest because they find you worthy.
Watch how they treat others. If they cheat in small ways, they will cheat in big ways. If they betray people who once trusted them, they will do the same to you. If they are constantly involved in conflicts, don’t assume you’re the exception—you’re just next in line.
First Task: Identify a Rule-Breaker and Their Tactics
Not all rule-breakers are obvious. Some operate in the shadows, some are loud and reckless, and some wear a mask of civility. Your job is to recognize them before they cause damage.
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Identify someone in your life or sphere of influence who does not play fair. Are they a manipulator? A gaslighter? A deceiver? Define their strategy.
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Observe their tactics. Do they lie? Do they bait others into conflict? Do they shift blame? Write down specific examples.
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Recognize their weaknesses. What do they fear? What do they rely on for power?
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Decide how to engage—or if you should engage at all. Some rule-breakers are best avoided; others require a strategy to neutralize them. What is your best move?
"Never appeal to a man’s better nature. He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage."
— Robert A. Heinlein
Historical Reflection
Jeanne de Clisson
When Jeanne de Clisson’s husband was betrayed and beheaded by the French king, she did not beg for justice. She declared war. For 13 years, she terrorized the French navy, turning piracy into personal vengeance. She was not just seeking revenge—she was teaching them what it meant to betray the wrong woman.
Born into an aristocratic Breton family, Jeanne lived as expected—she married, had children, and managed her estates. Then, in 1343, her husband, Olivier de Clisson, was falsely accused of treason and publicly executed. The French monarchy expected her to submit. Instead, she sold her lands, bought three warships, and painted them black. She raised red sails—the mark of no mercy. She swore to take vengeance on the French monarchy, targeting their ships and ports with ruthless precision.
Her fleet became known as the Black Fleet, a name that spread terror along French waters. She hunted down French ships, executing every noble-born captive she found, leaving only one survivor each time to spread the fear of her name. She did not attack blindly—her strikes were calculated, aimed at crippling the French navy and disrupting supply lines. She forged alliances with England, ensuring her fleet remained protected while she continued her war at sea. She did not seek power—she sought fear. And she got it.
Then, she disappeared. After over a decade of piracy, Jeanne faded from the seas. Some say she retired peacefully in England, living out her final years far from the bloodstained waters of her past. Others believe she never stopped hunting the French, only moving her war to the shadows. What is certain is that France never forgot the name Jeanne de Clisson.
Jeanne understood that to rule the unruly, you must become something more terrifying than them. She did not play by their rules—she rewrote them. She built loyalty through vengeance, ensuring no one would dare betray her. She turned herself into a legend, a name that haunted an empire. In a world that expected women to endure, she chose to destroy. And for that, she became immortal.
Historical Reflection
Ching Shih
Most pirates lived short, violent lives, hunted by navies and betrayed by their own crews. Ching Shih did not. She did not just survive—she built the most powerful pirate empire in history, commanding over 70,000 men and nearly 1,800 ships. She did not beg for power, nor did she fight every battle. She mastered rule-breakers, forced warlords to obey her, and turned chaos into an empire.
Ching Shih began her life in a Cantonese brothel, where she honed the arts of persuasion, negotiation, and control. In 1801, she married Cheng I, a notorious pirate captain, and quickly became an integral part of his operations. When he died unexpectedly, she refused to fade into obscurity. Instead, she consolidated her power, taking over his fleet and expanding it into a pirate confederation. She negotiated alliances, eliminated rivals, and imposed a brutal code of law that demanded absolute loyalty. Her first rule was simple: defy her, and you die.
Her leadership turned the scattered, lawless pirate fleets into a disciplined empire. She maintained control by rewarding loyalty and punishing betrayal with swift, brutal efficiency. Even as the Qing Dynasty, the British Navy, and the Portuguese tried to crush her, she remained untouchable. She outmaneuvered her enemies with misinformation, bribery, and deception, always staying three steps ahead. Merchants were forced to pay tribute to ensure safe passage, while her fleets controlled supply chains and disrupted trade routes with precision.
When the Chinese government offered her a pardon in a last-ditch effort to neutralize her threat, she seized the opportunity. Rather than simply accept, she negotiated full amnesty for herself and her crew, ensuring she could retire not only free but wealthy. In her later years, she left piracy behind to run a gambling house, living out her days in comfort and security.
Ching Shih ruled not through brute force but by understanding the lawless better than anyone else. She made loyalty more profitable than betrayal, turning rebels into disciplined forces. She didn’t fight every battle—instead, she dictated the terms before the war even began. Her story is proof that power is not just about strength—it’s about strategy, foresight, and the ability to transform chaos into opportunity. Ching Shih turned piracy into an empire and cemented her place as one of the most powerful women in history.
Historical Reflection
Boudica
For the Roman Empire, conquest was inevitable. Its armies swallowed nations, its laws overruled kings, and its governors expected submission without question. Boudica did not submit. When Rome took everything from her—her land, her dignity, her daughters—she did not beg for mercy. She raised an army, burned their cities to ash, and left a scar on history that would never fully fade.
Boudica ruled the Iceni, a Celtic tribe in what is now eastern England. Her husband, Prasutagus, had cooperated with Rome, hoping to ensure his people’s survival. But when he died, the Romans ignored his will, seized Iceni lands, and brutalized Boudica and her family. They flogged her in public—an insult no warrior would tolerate. They raped her daughters—Rome’s way of breaking a queen’s spirit. They expected her to fall in line, to know her place. Instead, she set everything in motion for Rome’s worst nightmare.
Under her leadership, rival Celtic tribes—peoples who had spent more time fighting each other than Rome—united with a common cause: revenge. She gathered an army of 100,000 warriors, proving that rage is sometimes the greatest unifier. She attacked three Roman cities—Camulodunum (Colchester), Londinium (London), and Verulamium (St. Albans)—and burned them to the ground. Entire Roman settlements were massacred. She was not fighting for diplomacy. She was fighting for annihilation.
Her rebellion sent shockwaves through the empire. Boudica’s army killed tens of thousands of Romans and their allies—so many that Emperor Nero himself briefly considered abandoning Britain entirely. But Rome was an empire built on vengeance. The Roman governor waited until Boudica’s forces were stretched thin, then lured them into a battle where he could use discipline against sheer rage. Outnumbered but better organized, the Roman forces crushed the rebellion. Boudica refused to be captured. Some say she took poison. Others believe she died from her wounds. History does not say for certain.
What is certain is that Rome never underestimated the Britons again. Boudica’s rebellion was not just about war—it was about making an empire regret its arrogance. She fought because she was given no other choice. Rome broke the rules of diplomacy, so she burned their rules down. She did not play Rome’s game—she made them play hers. Her war was not about occupation, but about destruction. Even in defeat, she changed history. Rome never expanded farther north in Britain, forever haunted by the cost of underestimating her.