This chapter explores why self-care is not indulgence but necessity, ensuring that you have the strength to endure and thrive.
Self Care
They Want You Exhausted—Stay Strong Instead.
They will tell you self-care is selfish. They will tell you that resting means you’re weak, that you should push through, that there are more important things to worry about than your own well-being. They want you tired. They want you worn down. They want you too drained to fight, too numb to care, too overwhelmed to resist.
If they can keep you running on fumes, they don’t have to break you, you will break yourself. You cannot afford to let that happen. Self-care is not indulgence. It is not luxury. It is strategy. It is making sure that when the fight comes—and it will—you’re strong enough to stand.
Why Self-Care Is a Tactical Advantage
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A tired mind makes bad decisions. Exhaustion leads to mistakes. Clarity comes from rest.
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They expect you to burn out. They count on you pushing too hard, for too long, until you collapse. If you refuse to collapse, you become a problem they cannot solve.
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You fight better when you’re well. If you’re depleted, you’re vulnerable. Strength is not just about endurance, it is about knowing when to stop and recover.
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Resilience is built, not assumed. You don’t just survive the hardships you prepare for it. And preparation includes maintaining your mental, physical, and emotional reserves.
How to Take Care of Yourself Without Guilt
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Redefine Self-Care as Maintenance, Not Reward - Rest is not something you earn after you have pushed yourself to the edge. It is something you need to function. You don’t wait until your car breaks down to change the oil. Don’t wait until you collapse to take care of yourself.
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Know What Refuels You - Not all rest is equal. Some people recharge in silence, some in conversation. Some in movement, some in stillness. Some in routine, some in escape. Pay attention to what actually restores you, not what others say should work.
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Protect Your Energy Like It Is a Limited Resource, Because It Is - Not every crisis is your crisis. Not every argument is your argument. Not every demand on your time deserves a yes. Boundaries are not selfish, they are survival.
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Do One Thing Every Day That Strengthens You - It does not have to be big. One healthy meal. One moment of silence. One stretch. One deep breath that reminds you that your body is your own. Small things, done consistently, build fortresses.
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Don’t Let Them Convince You That Misery is Strength - They will glorify suffering. They will tell you that real commitment means exhaustion, that real work requires sacrifice, that pushing yourself past your limits is proof of dedication. That is a lie. You are no use to anyone, including yourself, if you’re broken.
First Task: Build a Non-Negotiable Self-Care Ritual
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Identify one thing that truly recharges you and make it a daily priority.
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Set a boundary around your time and energy—and enforce it.
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Let go of the guilt. Rest is not failure. It is preparation.
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
— Audre Lorde
Historical Reflection
The Black Panther Party
In the late 1960s and early 1970s, the Black Panther Party understood that the fight against systemic racism required more than just protest—it required survival. They recognized that self-care was not just personal, but political. If they were to sustain their momentum, they needed to care for their own members and the communities they served.
Unlike the mainstream narrative that painted them as militant radicals, the Panthers were deeply invested in community well-being. They implemented programs that extended beyond traditional activism, creating a model where self-care became collective care. Their initiatives included free health clinics, dental care services, nutritional support through free breakfast programs, and educational initiatives. These efforts addressed the immediate needs of Black communities, many of whom were denied access to basic healthcare, food, and education due to systemic racism.
By prioritizing physical and mental health, the Black Panthers transformed self-care into an act of defiance. They understood that caring for their bodies, minds, and spirits was necessary to sustain their fight against oppression. This radical approach to wellness was not about luxury—it was about survival.
Black feminist and civil rights activist Audre Lorde took this idea even further, declaring self-care an essential act of resistance. In 1988, she famously wrote: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
Lorde’s perspective on self-care was shaped by her 14-year battle with cancer and her experiences as a Black lesbian feminist in a world that devalued her existence. For her, self-care was not about indulgence but about protecting her own life in a system that sought to erase her. By prioritizing her own well-being, she rejected the idea that marginalized people should sacrifice themselves for the cause.
The women’s liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s also embraced self-care as a revolutionary act. Frustrated with a sexist medical system that dismissed their pain and agency, activists opened women’s health clinics that focused on reproductive health, preventative care, and self-care education. These clinics empowered women to reclaim control over their own bodies and challenge the institutionalized sexism in healthcare.
Through these movements, marginalized groups transformed self-care from an individual act into a collective strategy for survival. Their legacy serves as a reminder that taking care of oneself is not selfish, it is essential to sustaining the fight for justice.